Friendships are the mucilage that holds us together. Yep, it'south cliche, only I for ane don't know where I'd be without a few skillful friendships. They're the ones who talk us through our heartbreaks, our meltdowns, and our toughest moments. They're at that place with pizza and former Disney movies when nosotros've had a stressful day or just need some quality self-care with a pal.

Every bit much as nosotros love our friends, it tin can be hard to get against them. She spent two hours talking to you last week when Republic of chad posted with another girl on Instagram! She came over for a movie when you needed to go abroad from work. She'll talk on the telephone whenever you just demand to talk. I owe it to her to go out this evening or let her infringe my favorite shoes or assist her with a work project until iii am, right?

Not exactly. Saying no to our friends is a hard and awkward situation, but once y'all've mastered it, you'll exist happier and closer to your friend in the process. Use this advice side by side time a situation arises, and you'll find the procedure is much easier over time.

Understand what she'due south asking

Communication (especially over text) tin can go misconstrued hands. Only because yous heard your friend inquire something in a rude or entitled voice doesn't mean that'southward exactly how she meant it. Look at the facts starting time. Are yous reading into a text message or could there be a miscommunication? When we become into an emotional mindset, we oft forego the facts and jump right into the negative emotions going through our heads. Accept a minute to fully understand what your friend is request of you before getting into your answer.

Figure out why you want to say no

If you don't want to become somewhere or get involved in something, you shouldn't be forced into it. However, at that place are also many reasons we might say no to something that could be expert for united states. Say your BFF invites y'all to a networking event, simply you're trying to meet upward with that new person you're dating instead. Likely, the engagement can look, and the networking event is a great mode to level up your career.

On the other hand, there are so many reasons we might say no to something but not necessarily know why. I can't even remember how many times I've canceled on a friend because low and feet got in the mode. In these instances, we don't ever know that's what's causing our absence — we might merely experience like we can't go. In a situation like this, it'south important to understand why y'all might non desire to hang out or be with them. This allows you to be honest with your friend about what's going on and so they can support and be there for you too.

Validate yourself

This is your chance to give it to yourself nice and like shooting fish in a barrel. Once you've discovered why you lot want to have this discussion with a friend, information technology's of import to stick with the original plan. Talking to friends nigh potential issues in your relationship is awkward and stressful, so when we tin call back of ways to get out of it, we almost always become with that option instead.

Our friends are usually the ones validating us in arguments with family unit or in romantic relationships, so use this time to remind yourself that what you lot're feeling is normal. If you're bellyaching, frustrated, or upset with a friend, it's OK to experience that way sometimes, and information technology'south OK to talk to them almost it. Remember that this will actually make your friendship stronger in the long run, and if it doesn't, then your friendship might need a reevaluation.

Figure out the best way to communicate

Does this situation deserve an in-person meeting, a phone call, or a text? Effigy out the all-time way to have this discussion with your friend. If you're just telling her y'all don't want to get out in twenty minutes considering you lot want to stay at dwelling house with your dog and water ice foam, you lot probably don't need to meet upward. Nevertheless, if this is a bigger issue in your friendship (your friend borrows your things and never returns them, she leaves you for a guy every bit soon every bit you get to the bar, etc.), it might be a good idea to set up a time to meet to talk over how you tin can motility forward with your friendship.

Be honest

Call back when we talked about identifying why you want to say no? This is where it comes into play. Forget coming up with an excuse; nosotros're non in high school anymore. (Harsh, but truthful!)

Be honest about why y'all don't want to do something or why you're maxim no. Whether it be money (the concert is too expensive, you lot are trying to salve for a down payment on a machine, you've spent your going out upkeep for the month already, etc.), piece of work (you lot accept work tomorrow or a big project coming upwards to work on!), personal situations (already have plans, having family unit trouble, I could really continue here), or something else, you shouldn't take to spend a ton of time thinking almost what you'll say because information technology's the truth.

Practice

Now, I'm not saying you should say no to everything your friends throw at you as a social experiment; nevertheless, this is ane of life's many situations wherein practice makes perfect. (I'm just full of cliches today!) The kickoff time you talk to a friend about something that'south bothering you instead of keeping it bottled inside will exist uncomfortable and weird. You lot'll wonder if they're still your friend and if your relationship will suffer from this. Over time, though, that feeling will fade, and y'all'll learn that proficient, strong friendships mean more than getting upset considering someone called y'all out on your sh*t.